things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
