Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize