What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
