saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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