i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
