That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize