i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
