My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
