Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
