I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
