my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
