summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
