Me too!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
