he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize