im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
