I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
