so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
