At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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