She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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