5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
