Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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