Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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