It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Boobs are out for the taking
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize