Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
