Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
