he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
