What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
