It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize