i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize