Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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