i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
