Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
