i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
