i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
tell me about the fingering
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
