this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
