so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
