yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
