Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
