You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
