So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
