I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
