I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
