he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize