So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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