Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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