What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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