He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
