My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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