Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize