I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
