you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
