everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
