thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
