Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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