What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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