If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
