Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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