I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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