Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
