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dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
