Don't you send me to vm
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
