What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
