Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
