I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
